Observing Communication

About a week ago, I was at the laundry mat washing my comforters and I noticed this young lady and her son on the other side of the laundry mat. The mom looked to be in her early twenties and about six months pregnant. The little boy could not have been any more than about four or five years old. At this age, children are active and very talkative. He would ask the mom a question and she would tell him to set down and shut-up. At first, I did not pay much attention their conversation, until maybe about the fifth time I heard him say, “Mom I got to use it.” She than said to him again, “You better sit there and be quit, before I spank your butt, with your ugly butt” (another choice of words, but will not say)” The little boy seemed to be very sad and afraid of the mom. He probably needed to use the restroom for a while but was too afraid to ask. I’m the first to not intervene into other people business, but it took everything in me not to say something to this mother.

  

What I gathered form this communication observation is that the mother is very young and do not have much parenting skills and her patience is very short. This child is growing up with a parent who degrades him and makes him feel unworthy. Children need to know who they are, respected and grounded in themselves (Laureate, Lisa Kolbeck, 2010).

What the parent should have done is listen to what the child was saying, and not shut him out. Children should never be closed off with walls of our assumptions (Laureate, Lisa Kolbeck, 2010). It seemed as though the child did not even exist to the mother. A child needs to be heard, instead of just being seen.

As an early childhood educator it is crucial that we break the barriers of ineffective communication, especially with children. I refuse to be that parent I witnessed in the laundry mat. Children need to feel that their voice will be heard at all times in our schools, home daycare  and in early educational programs; if this is not demonstrated early in life than as they become older, they will feel inadequate in their communication skills.

I was raised in a very loving environment but my father felt that children should be seen and not heard, and for many years I would allow things to transpire in my own life; whether it was on my job or in my personal relationships and would not address the issues because I was afraid of losing my job, friends, or an significant other. I had to learn what effective healthy communication really was, and now that I know and understand how important it is, I reflect that in my everyday world. My reflection is looking in the faces of children and seeing myself as a child. This helps me to understand that children are just little people who communicate differently from adults, but communicate the best they know how. When an environment is created for children to feel welcome, love and safe than they feel accepted; this opens doors for them to communicate freely.    

Reference

Laureate Education, Inc. (Executive Producer). (2011). Welcome to an anti-bias learning community [video]. Strategies for Working with Diverse Children. Baltimore, MD: Author.